Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Comings and Goings

The last week or so has been extremely tumultuous.

Not because of exams, while school is stressful at times, it is manageable because you know what you need to do to get by. At least that's how I see it.

This is a different kind of angst that I have not felt for awhile, and I don't think ever this intensely.

The "Real World Kingston" has run its course. I am taking vindication in the notion that the difficulty I experienced in leaving, is a symptom of the great times I have had in the 1460 days or so prior.

So many cliche expressions apply, but I'll save their use for those less articulate than myself. Rather than attempt to rehash how I feel and describe the emotional turmoil through which I find myself currently wading, I will say thanks to those of you have taken the time to interact with me over the last four years, no matter how small. You have no idea how you have impacted me (I probably don't even have that much of an idea, self awareness is something I struggle to attain) and I would like to think I am a better person for having had the opportunity to meet you. I only hope I was able to provide you with some value in return.

I have been rather productive this morning setting up my home-base in Ottawa. The anxiety has not been quelled yet however, I have to spend this week streamlining my life and preparing to move to Slovakia!

ASIDE: I've been thinking about an idea a lot lately. Anxiety is a physical feeling. How you choose to perceive/frame the anxiety is up to you. When I find I am nervous, or when I find I am excited it is really the same physical sensation. When I am nervous I am just choosing to experience the anxiety through one particular frame, when I am excited, my attitude filters the sensation in a completely different way. Nervousness and excitement are part of the same spectrum. That being said, I'm learning that choosing to be excited is not always so easy.

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