Sick Day

Given how I was quasi-berated for my health status at work yesterday, and the hybrid SARS-H1N1 condition that hallmakrs my current state, I've been cornered into taking my first professional sick day. It's bullshit. While those underachievers amongst us might revel in sporadic naps interspersed with episodes of House, the pleasure I find is equatable to the most meagre slice of the pie. I think this metaphorical pie might also be the pre-made kind that's crust crumbles when you try to remove it from the aluminum tray, you also get whipped cream on your shirt sleeve during the vain effort. Moreover, you can only watch so many episodes of a show about people with the craziest diseases before you start to imagine new symptoms.

Sometimes I think I'm getting an outrageous fever before I remember it's 34 degrees, humid and sunny.

I feel like a giant slacker, but the accompanying lethargy is surprisingly debilitating. Sorry ambition. This afternoon I will strive to make the most of my situation. Like when hungover, productivity and usefulness can be amped up by doing small easy and menial things that you have to do anyways. Examples include laundry, cleaning, other simple things. Unlike Saturday mornings, I feel my cognitive faculties are a little less impaired. I will find the apex on the "productivity vs. mental ability" hyperbola for my particular state.

You see folks, this morning I deemed it of priority to drag my decrepit corpse (really it's not THAT bad, just being dramatic) to the pharmacy. On the first few days I lived here, before I started working I learned we had an elementary school within an empty beer bottles lob from our balcony. Listening to hundreds of screaming kids at 9am reminded me of days off at camp. At the time it was comforting. Today, for only a second, I caught myself wondering why there were no kids screaming, obviously it's summer. After that, I felt a little bit out of touch. So, I think I'm going to sit on the balcony and plan, make some goals and figure out how to be a little more awesome, if I may be so bold. I'm going to bake in the sun listening to a fresh playlist on stolen beach chairs. I think the consistently consumed record levels of fluid intake have helped but they have also kept my kidneys busy in a big way.

I'm making the most of my miserable situation. I dare say it but I cannot wait for Monday, assuming I survive.

UPDATE: Billy Mays, lessons learned.
UPDATE II: Slovakia on the front of the International NYT