Monday, February 15, 2010

An Open Letter to McDonalds

Below is a complaint I submitted to McDonalds. Please share any of your experiences.

I recently moved to Slovakia from Canada. I am an extremely avid coffee drinker. I was primarily a Starbucks patron, or Tim Hortons' if circumstances necessitated.

In Slovakia though, McDonalds is the only place to get reliable, fast, and quite frankly delicious coffee (seriously, I was impressed with the quality of your brew). I go every day, multiple times a day (as I mentioned, I'm an AVID consumer).

Usually I drink my coffee black. To be honest, it makes me feel more hardcore than most people, and it's quite tasty (rotting stomach and stained teeth not withstanding). Sometimes I use creamers though, just to mix things up. And man, do your creamers scream "sub-par". Struggling to open that creamer is probably the worst part of my morning, now that I think of it.

I'm not sure if the tab you are meant to pull open was designed as a cruel trick by your supplier, or whether it's years of karmic injustice being consistently unleashed on me in a twisted ploy to even my score with the universe at large, one day at a time. Either way, 19 times out of 20 the excessive vacuum seal of the creamer causes small spurts of the white thick liquid to ejaculate all over my clothes, keyboard and desk when I peal back the aforementioned tab. On the worst of days, the body of the creamer itself breaks in half and spills the entirety of its contents all over my lap.

Please, please, please, do something about this. Even if it just means buying the Tesco brand and using those.



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